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I just went back and read some of the horrible comments I've received from people in the past.
I remember how hurtful it was and how much I wanted to just dissapear from it all. I felt helpless and hopeless.

The internet can be a terrible place.

When people aren't accountable for what they say they feel a certain sense of power. The ability to judge others without being judged ourselves is a position of immense dominance. It's exhilarating to exercise that dominance over another person.

But now, looking back, I realize that it doesn't bother me anymore. I don't even bother hiding, deleting or responding to those comments because it just doesn't bug me. I feel a resounding "eh",

I keep those comments up so that people can see the kind of behaviour that people reduce themselves to when they're behind a computer screen. Every "this is shit" or ""he" is just a dyke and a "she"" has meaning to me now. It means that I've overcome something that I never would have thought possible. I'm not hurt by that anymore. Why would I be?

I know my cosplay isn't great. But I love to do it so negative comments aren't going to stop me. Really you're just telling me what I already know! And it pushes me to try harder next time which is always positive. As for the more personal comments... well, I am who I am. And although I've been prone to pretty intense insecurity and self-dissastifaction in the past, I'm in the best shape of my life right now (physically and psychologically)... and I owe a lot of that to criticism and negativity. It only pushes me to keep going.

I'm happy. And I'm thankful that I don't need to lurk behind anonymity and animosity to feel exhilaration and strength. I feel that every day when I look back at how far I've come and look forward to how bright the future looks.
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PicassoEnigma Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Well den, if bad comments make you improve then...

hoW U sUk at CoSPLaY?!?
Claireobie Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
I think you're a beautiful and truly inspiring person. I don't need to you that shit happens because you know that. All I can tell you is that those people who knock others down clearly are lacking something. The fact that you don't feel the need to take others down truly shows how much you are comfortable with yourself, which makes you the better person. I wish you the best in the future! Keep cosplaying and doing what you love because it makes me (and tons of others) really happy!
Wily383 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
What does kill you gives our show better ratings!! ....But seriously though, I know what you're talking about. I've been in similar situations, except it was middle school/high school instead of the internet. After a while, you just kinda harden yourself and become immune to it all. Now that I'm in college, I really don't have to worry about people like that anymore, so it's kinda nice.
FullMoon2012 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think your cosplays are awesome. o u o Seriously, they always have looked awesome to me.
Tsukikumoon Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012
Yeah true say! You go! ^^
XxMikki-MomoxX Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been dealing with that for awhile now.... You are really strong for being able to do this. I really look up to you!
Sasuke-Uchiha-Luver7 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That is just awesome that you are able to think like that!! It just proves how great of a person you are :)
claudia999 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
you are awesome!!! and you know why...because you are stronger than they!!

go your way and always look forward :)
IzzyMcspaz Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
Honestly, I don't get why people say your cosplays suck, because they don't. You inspired many people, including my friends and I.
ZelaStormz Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I agree, you and Nova got my friend and I into cosplaying. If it wasn't for you, we would be sitting at home starring at a wall, so I agree with IzzyMcspaz.
LittleTwiddleTweaker Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
GO TWINFOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RisakoKitty Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Your So Cool
KietaInga Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012
<3 I agree. I'm happy to see you've found peace. ^.^ *random stranger/supporter*
Chexss Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012
Ignore immature people like that. They are just trying to make themselves feel better. You are a great person!!!!! You inspire me and so many others to be ourselves and to have fun! If it weren't for you I would have never tried cosplaying...but thanks to you I now have a new favorite hobby that has become a part of me. So ignore all those ignorant selfish people Twin!!!! Thanks for all you do!
hatakeyuki Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Anyone who chooses to judge someone based on those are only trying to make themselves feel better. I personally think you are an amazing person and I look forward to seeing the different types of cosplays you and nova both do every time. I admire the strength you have to put yourself out there for everyone to see. So kudos to you and please don't ever let some moron make you feel any different.
HeliumLoaded94 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay, can I stop you right there, you think your cosplay ain't that great. Uh, no. Don't degrade yourself, simply because the evidence proved the opposite. You are indeed an person filled with awesome, and discovering you by accident on Youtube a few years ago assured me of that fact. Why the insults? Sorry for a lenghty reply, but, seriously you are one of top class cosplayers I've seen and you deserve it with utmost respect. Like someone mentioned, internet isn't any different from a school. Somebody good and gentle will be promptly screwed up by some jerks who seek to ruin someone's day. Keep it up, man, stay smiled and enjoy you life to the fullest.
KonohaCookieNinja Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012  Hobbyist
ima glad your ingoreing them all Twin because to me your cosplay is THE best!! and you and fightingdreamerspro is the reason why ima into cosplay now :3 , and well you yourself is a pretty amazein person to if i say so myself.. so remember stay how you are now and keep ingoreing all them other mean people :3 .. hope this helps <3
yutakas-toast Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
But your cosplay is great^^!!!
autumnbluez Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012
iFang-San Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
More power to yah Twin~
Binary-Wings Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You will never cease to be an inspiration.
kagamin3Len Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your cosplays are amazing (they inspired me to start cosplaying!) You are an amazing person, and if people can't see that, then that is just too bad for them because they are missing out on knowing an amazing person!
theJMProd Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2012
*hugs* You're an amazing, strong person :) I've been a fan of you and your cosplay group since 06 and yeah, it's been a struggle but we're all behind you! :hug:
THEdoctorELYsium Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2012
Twin you are amazing! I love your cosplays and I applaud your way of looking at the positive side of things.
itadakimasu101 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Wachu talkn' bout! I LOVE your cosplay!!! (esp. the Naruto one ;D lol)
DokuKyoYuki Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well written Twin.... Great Words.... oh how u inspire me
sammymoo Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
this made me smile :D thanks
XxBlackRose02xX Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2012  Student Photographer
Well said!
No matter what your decisions are, you have to surround yourself with good people. The not so good ones obviously don't have the esteem or the strength that you have now.
I totally understand where you are coming from; not from the same exact situation but the criticism people hold over you.
It only can make you stronger.
These life situations help make you grow!
Spinnerismine1 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeah. i know how that feels. i had that happen to me
kkanimegirl Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your definately someone I think people should look up to, and your cosplays totally do not fail, mine do, :( but I try harder!!
Watolf Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
O.O woah, that must be hard. Since i'm deaf, sometime people did called me a horrible "R" word. that happen to my friends. that compare to you, yea that happened. I'm understand your feeling. People who love your show, humors, inspired, they will be your side, you're not alone. out there, some of People who really jerk, they're closed mind and might jealous, just ignore them! :iconchuplz:

I'm judo, you can summon me anytime! i can throw them far as i can! >:D

RokuKanno Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
When my cousin and I watch your videos and read your journal entries. We both look to you as a source of inspiration. I mean with you cosplaying. My cousin and I are too shy and we get all scared and that on what people think about us. But seeing what you and your friends do it. It actually made us more open. And as for rude comments. It's good you don't let them get to you anymore. I mean to me rude comments are just people being jealous or whatever you want to call it. You're a cool person and it's cool that you always seem to have fun with your videos. I love that you don't let anything get in the way of you fun or life. It's really inspiriting to me and my cousin lol. ^-^ But congrats on this new discovery! Don't let anyone bring you down because their words will only make you stronger. I know the feel thinking back of my life in high school and I just laugh at my past now. ^-^
MarmaladeSkysGirl45 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012  Professional Photographer
twin dont let anyone stop you, im glad you are still doing what you love. i know when i see horrible cosplays and omg my friend, you dont have horrible cosplays. i know when i see a good cosplayer and your one of them. same goes to your friends.
Ruri-Irur Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
You're a strong person, Twin. Though it took a lot of pain to get to where you are now, you've earned every bit of strength you have received. You'll continue to grow strong. Keep at it. You encourage many people. ^.^
lunabella13 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
ur amazing twin!
SakuraJeanne1 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012
WTF,how can ppl say tat bout u?!!!!u know u are a great cosplayer...actually the best,i wish i could beat the hell out of who evr said those things!!!!!!
theonefreecakepro Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012  Professional General Artist
If I had to say I'm the cynical one of the group. Easily able to dissect the situation and casting down my judgement to make the opposing side shut up. But only if it really bugs. Kinda like Johny from Catherine, in which the main character Vincent is voiced by Snow Villiers VA Troy. And I'm pretty sure Serah's va(laura Bailey) does C. Catherine's voice over as well. which is kinda funny because C catherine is kinda of a slut and Serah has that similar airhead quality about her, and the way she dress! No wonder the best she could do was Snow!
Saya167 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012  Student General Artist
You are so brave, I really look up to you as a role model Twin!Thank you for that and don't let anyone get you down!
T-lover Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012  Hobbyist
your cospaly are the greatest twin! don't you EVER DOUBT about that!=D supporting you all the way!!<3
keep fighting!!, don't let anything drag you down!! you're awesome!!
ManaphyHikaru Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012
You'r awesome!!!!! and i am glad negative comments dont bring you down!!!!
XSasukeXisXhottX Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012
Good for you!<3
ButterflyBlink Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012  Student General Artist
you've come so far! and your an inspiration to so many people :') ,i know everyones entitled to their own opinion, but some comments are just nasty and should go suck it cos they dont have the guts to go through what you have.
LunaXCosplayer Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012
Three words hun: GOOD FOR YOU! :D
cosORPHs Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Wah!! Who would say horrible things to you your sooo cool!
kazekageAWESOMENESS Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
RU kidding Twin? You're an amazing cosplayer! You and the whole FDP's cosplays look like they were store bought! Keep going man! Don't ever give up! :iconcheerupplz:
AoiOokami516 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012
I'm pretty sure the positive comments outweigh the negative by far, just seeing from posts on journals or cosplay pictures. Your cosplays in my eyes, are wonderful and just fun to see, and actually made me want to go to cons just to see it in person. Keep up your strong way of thinking and being the best you can be. People don't realize how hard that can be, and result to harmful comments, hiding their insecurity. I love how you can be 'out' there as well. You have my full support in what ever it is. <3
DreamsComeTroo Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Student General Artist
I mirror most of this- pardon the 'eh' response- I tend to deflect with morbid humor. Which grows into boundless inside jokes within my friends group since we're all very open minded and the way we respond to things tends to be similar hence contagious hetero.
AlmightySquishy Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Ahhhhh, good for you Twin! <3 Keeping pushing on because you really are an amazing person. :heart:

And all those who leave such comments because they're having some kind of power trip or even who leave ridiculously horrible comments in general lead very sad and pathetic lives and I almost pity their existence. Almost.

Keep on keeping on~ :heart:
drakfireleo Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012
Your cosplays are amazing, and I'm one of your biggest fans. So keep on doing what you are doing, and I will keep watching.
SereneScientist Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You are an absolutely wonderful cosplayer, and even more importantly, a very strong person. Though I have not been what you've struggled with, you still serve as an excellent example of integrity and dignity! Your point that the Internet and the anonymity it provides removing all accountability is an excellent one and at the end of the day, what you say to someone else through any medium, be it Internet, face-to-face, through text or on the phone still reflects on you as a person and should never be taken lightly.
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